Let’s Be Friends.

I’ve never been good at friendships.

I’m not saying that I’m not a good friend. I’m kind, I try to listen, when I’m out with friends I have fun. I’m just not good at starting or continuing a friendship. Sometimes I don’t neglect to contact a friend and say “Hey! Let’s get together!”. It’s not that I don’t want to do it, there’s just something that stops me.

So what hinders me? I worry about what others will think about me. A real friendship means that you have to open yourself up. “Surface” friendships, where you don’t get very deep and can just exchange pleasantries, are easy. Deep, meaningful friendships happen when you open yourself up to one another. You have to let that person in. That scares me.

I worry about people judging me. I worry that they will find out things about me that will turn them off. I worry that they will find out that my entire bedroom floor is currently covered with clothes. I worry that they will find out that sometimes I am rude. Sometimes when others are talking I’m not listening very well because I am distracted.

I worry that people will find out these things and will no longer think highly of me.

I would say my best friend is definitely my husband. Obviously, it is a good thing for him to be a best friend. Other than Jesus Christ, my relationship with my husband should be the next closest relationship that I have on this earth. It’s good for our marriage and good for our family. My husband sees me in my best and worst moments and still loves me in spite of it all. I think that is one of the reasons that he is my best friend. If I snap at him in a moment of frustration or bawl my head off because I’ve had a hard day, I know he’ll still be there and love me just the same.

Will a friend do that? That’s the heart of my personal struggle.

Lately God has been speaking to me about my problem with connecting with people. I have a lot of surface friendships but I am very weary of opening myself up to something deeper.

Eccelsiastes 4:9-10

“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”

To me, this is one of the reasons we are not supposed to live life alone. We CAN do things alone, but that doesn’t mean that is the best way to do it. I mean, having two arms DOES make most tasks more manageable. There are so many things in life that we can’t physically do alone.

When I read the first part of Ecclesiastes 4:10, it says that if either fall down the other can help him up. How many times do we “fall down” in our Christian walk? Every day! Every day I make mistakes, I sin. WE are sinners, and so we are going to “fall down” at some point. Having a friend, doesn’t just keep us accountable, but it also reminds us that we are not alone when we do fall. A close friend can be there to help support you in Christian Fellowship.

The second section of verse 10 says, “But pity anyone who falls and has no one to ehlp them up.”

Why should we pity them? Because, unfortunately, they have chosen to not surround themselves with people who would help. This is where I am.

God has been working on me that I need to be in closer fellowship with other women. As women, we need to be better about creating & working on close friendships.


So what does that mean? Am i going to pick up the phone tomorrow and suddenly have a new best friend? No, but there are some things that God has placed upon my heart to focus on. God wants me to work on making some of my “surface” friendships, true friendships.

First, God is calling me to step out in faith.

Yes, I am scared to open myself up to others, but my fear is not an excuse to disobey what God has called me to do. My emotions cannot determine whether or not I follow through. I have to trust that He is guiding me toward women who will care about me in spite of my faults.

Now, just because I step out in faith & obey what God has asked me to do does not mean that He has promised it will be smooth sailing. Relationships require people. People have baggage. Baggage causes problems. Even though there may be some bumps, I need to continue following God in the direction that He wants me to go.

Secondly, God has opened my eyes to the receiving end of friendship.

Friendships require us to open up and share our struggles with one another, but when a friend is opening up and sharing we must remember to listen without judgment.

One of the reasons that I struggle with connecting is because I worry about what others are going to think of me. What do we see on tv and social media? Cat fights & gossip. We see women tearing each other down & being applauded for their actions. Why are many of us weary of opening ourselves up to other women? This is why.

Matthew 7:3

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

If we want close relationships we have to take it upon ourselves to stop silently (or for some, publicly) judging each other. Opening ourselves up is only the first step. We then have to listen & support each other without judgment or condemnation.


I am going to be working on developing closer Christian friendships, and I challenge you to do the same. I actually have someone that God has brought into my life hat I am going to call this week to get together and have lunch. I’m nervous, but excited to see what God has for this new friendship.

If you don’t have any issues with developing genuine, close Christian friendships with other women, look around you. Is there somewhat in your social circle that doesn’t seem to make connections easily? Ask God to show you someone that He wants you to connect & fellowship with.

I would love to hear what God is saying to you. Please let me know in the comments or follow me on facebook or twitter and let me know!

This was posted in the Grace & Truth Linkup & the Faith & Fellowship Blog Hop

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Good vs. Godly Men

So it’s been a rough few days. Nothing bad has happened. No one in our family is sick. *THANK YOU LORD! I SO APPRECIATE THAT!* I have just felt overwhelmed & frustrated.

There’s a lot going on right now. Church events, School events, birthdays, baby showers, etc… My mind just feels like it’s swimming with everything that is coming up. I feel like I can’t get ahead of everything and because of that I feel extremely frustrated.

This all came to a head last night. I could not just relax and let go. After the girls went to bed I found myself crying to my husband about it all. I finally said to him,

“The worst part of it all is that I KNOW I should give it all to God but I haven’t been! My prayers lately have been hollow and empty. I pray for everyone & everything except myself and my frustrations!”

Now, before I continue I have to say that what he said to me COMPLETELY explains the main reason I knew I was supposed to marry him. Forget my puppy love for him, his blonde hair, his blue eyes, the fact that he’s a great cook… THIS is why I married him.

He said, “Let’s pray about it now… Together.”

AMEN HALLELUJAH PRAISE THE LORD!

You see, my husband isn’t a “Good Man”, he’s a “Godly Man”. As a husband he is the spiritual leader of our home. He looks out for our physical & spiritual well being. He cares about my relationship with Jesus Christ and takes an active role in my spiritual growth.

We sat together last night and prayed. We asked God for peace, guidance, & strength. We thanked Him for the blessings He has given us & for the plans he has for us that we don’t even know about yet. As my husband prayed over me I cried and felt The Lord remind me that He has given me a partner to share my burdens with.


The problem is when I was a teenager “Godly Man” was not at the top of my priority list when it came to “Qualities of my Future Husband”.

By 17 I had an ongoing mental list of qualities that were important to me in a future husband.
1. MUST be smart
2. MUST be creative
3. MUST love music
4. MUST have a sense of humor
5. MUST be driven & be hard working
6. SHOULD be a Christian

That’s right… I put SHOULD be a Christian. I can honestly say that whether my husband knew Jesus Christ as his Savior & Lord really seemed more like an added bonus than a necessity. Looking back it really should have been my main priority. I could have saved myself a lot of heartache if it had been important to me when I started dating.

I’ve had some girls ask me how to know who to date or marry. I like to share this bit of advice that I got after I was already dating my husband. I wish I had gotten it sooner.

“Run as fast as you can toward Jesus Christ. Run the race described in Hebrews 12:1. Make Jesus your priority and focus. As you are running, look around you and see who is there. Who is running with you toward Jesus Christ? Those are the people to surround yourself with. Those are your best friends, accountability partners, & dating prospects.”

A person does not know what REAL love is unless he or she has accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord & Savior. The love of Christ is what REAL love is. The love of Christ is forgiving, full of grace, full of mercy, and never ending. He gave everything, he gave his life for us. If you don’t know Him, then you don’t know what love should look like.

A “Godly Man” will not only love you and treat you the way that Jesus would treat you, but he will also invest in your relationship with Christ. If he is truly a follower of Jesus Christ, he will want to find a wife who has a relationship with Christ. 2 Corinthians 6:14 calls us to not be “yoked together with unbelievers”. In order to be the spiritual head of your household he has to lead & help you grow.

I am so thankful that God put my husband and I on the same college campus. I am thankful that He arranged for us to be introduced to each other. I am thankful that my in-laws raised him in a Godly Christian Home. I can’t imagine what our marriage would be like without OUR faith & OUR trust in The Lord.

What do you think? Do you have an example of a Godly man in your life that you would like to share? Please feel free to leave a comment below, I would love you hear from you!

This post has been shared on the Grace & Truth Linkup!