First Grade Proposal

The following is a real conversation between myself & my Daughter

 

J: “Mom, you know Daniel that’s in my class?”

Me: “Yes, what about him?”

J: “Today at lunch he asked me to be his girlfriend and he gave me a ring.”


 

We were driving home from dance class the other day when my 7 year old daughter dropped this bombshell on me.

 

Inner me: WHAT?! No! Absolutely not! You are in first grade. No boyfriends… EVER!

Me: “Oh he did? What did you tell him?” (As I pushed the instant FREAK OUT mode down a little bit)

J: “Well, I told him I would have to ask my mom.”

Inner me: Thank You Lord! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Me: “Well that was a very smart thing to say. What do you think I am going to say?”

J: “Ummm… probably no.”

Inner Me: “You bet I’m going to say no…”

Me: “Yup. You’re right. Why do you think Daddy & I will say that?”

J: “Ummm… because I’m not old enough.”

Me: “Yup. What do you think about it?”

Inner Me: “Please agree! Please remember the things we’ve talked about even if it was only in a brief conversation!”

J: “Yeah, I don’t think I’m old enough. Maybe when I’m like 16.”

Inner me: Dancing a celebratory victory dance

Me: “Do you know why you’re probably not old enough?”

J: Shrugs

Me: “Well, why do you think people have boyfriends?”

J: Shrugs

Inner Me: “Lord PLEASE help me out with this one. Seriously, I could bungle this without your help!”

Me: “Well, when you like a boy as more than just a friend you may want a boyfriend. Like if you’re thinking about him a lot and you want to hold hands and things. But really God made the boyfriend/girlfriend/dating thing to help us figure out who we are supposed to marry. Do you think you’ll be ready to get married in the next 5 years?”

J: Laughs “No! I’ll only be in 6th grade!”

Me: “You’re right. You won’t be ready to think about getting married anytime soon. Boyfriends are a pretty serious thing. I think it would be best if we waited a while until you think about having a boyfriend. You should probably just tell Daniel that you’re not old enough to have a boyfriend but that you two can just be friends. How does that sound?”

J: “Yeah. That’s what I’m going to do.”


 

I have to tell you that during this short conversation I felt like I should smile, cry, stop the car, laugh, & call my husband all at the same time. I mean REALLY? She’s 7.

Jimmy and I haven’t really sat down and planned out our specific rules about boyfriends and dating yet. (Did I mention she’s only 7…) We’ve been more concerned with spelling lists & making sure we remember to get snacks for the class on our assigned snack day. Boyfriends? Rings? Ha! That seemed laughable. Until now.

The more I’ve thought about it over the past week the more I’ve realized how unprepared I was for that conversation. I know that as parents we agree that there will be no boyfriends until our girls are older, but what age? What about dates? Group dates? Movie dates?

If I created rules going off of my personal dating experiences in High School I would lock them in their rooms until they were 18 and tell them stories about boys only wanting one thing. (Ok, we WILL be having those talks… Jimmy says it’s mandatory)

My 7 year old is a lot more like Jimmy than me though. Their personalities are so alike and Jimmy didn’t date. I was his first real girlfriend and we started dating our freshman year of college. (Now this is not counting the girl from church that was his girlfriend for like 2 weeks and they only saw each other at church… He says that doesn’t count)

After some discussion Jimmy and I have decided to wait to set specific rules. We are just going to continue having clear, biblically intentional conversations about boyfriends & dating and we’ll take each event as they come. In the mean time I’ll be reading, praying & asking God to prepare me for what lies ahead.

I just never thought I’d be dealing with boyfriends and rings in first grade. Wow! I guess God’s just trying to keep me on my toes!


 

10 minutes later I found myself thinking about that ring.

Me: “Hey, what did you do with that ring?”

J: “Oh! At recess the girl that sits next to me saw it and said that it looked just like the one that she brought to school and put in her box on her desk but it disappeared. So I gave it to her. We think Daniel took it from her box.”

Inner Me: “Little hoodlum…”

Me: Laughs “Well it sounds like it all turned out ok then.”

signature.fw

Advertisements

“The Best Laid Plans…” Five Minute Friday

I’m joining up with the #FMFPARTY Five Minute Friday group again this week! If you haven’t heard of Five Minute Friday go check out Kate Motaung’s page about it over at katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday. Blogging for Five Minutes on Friday about a specified “Prompt Topic” I have to say that only typing about a topic for 5 minutes is a HUGE stretch for me, but I’m really enjoying it.

This week the prompt is “Plan”. I’m excited to get started! So here we go…


If you’ve ever heard the phrase, “The best laid plans of mice & men often go awry.” You know the basis of my life.

I am a planner. I love lists & preparing for upcoming events. I used to be a wedding planner (that’s another post entirely in and of itself!) & I loved the entire planning process from beginning to end.

The thing is, my plans for my life & the lives of my family DO often go awry. I’m not a foolish person. I don’t just jump at every opportunity that comes up. I’m a detailed planner. When I graduated High School I “planned” to get a business degree then own my own bakery, definitely NOT what ended up happening. So why do some of my “plans” come up short?

They don’t work out when they are MY plans & not God’s.

James 4:12-15

” Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.”  How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. What you ought to say is, “If the Lord wants us to, we will live and do this or that.”

When I get an idea or start to make a plan of action I need to step back and really evaluate WHOSE plan it is. Am I coming up with this all on my own or have I truly been guided by The Lord?

This blog is a great example of that. I felt God calling me to write. Now, he originally called me to write a book (and I am), but when I got stuck in the process and was about to give up on it He pointed me toward blogging. I questioned & doubted whether it was me or God that came up with that, but after lots of prayer & searching for His answer, He has begun to open my eyes to His plan for it all.

Well, my five minutes are up! This five minute thing is CRAZY! I could probably go on forever… Hmmm… I think I’m already coming up with my next post! I’ve been inspired!

How have the “plans” you’ve made on your own changed? I would love to hear how God has moved in your life!

Let’s Be Friends.

I’ve never been good at friendships.

I’m not saying that I’m not a good friend. I’m kind, I try to listen, when I’m out with friends I have fun. I’m just not good at starting or continuing a friendship. Sometimes I don’t neglect to contact a friend and say “Hey! Let’s get together!”. It’s not that I don’t want to do it, there’s just something that stops me.

So what hinders me? I worry about what others will think about me. A real friendship means that you have to open yourself up. “Surface” friendships, where you don’t get very deep and can just exchange pleasantries, are easy. Deep, meaningful friendships happen when you open yourself up to one another. You have to let that person in. That scares me.

I worry about people judging me. I worry that they will find out things about me that will turn them off. I worry that they will find out that my entire bedroom floor is currently covered with clothes. I worry that they will find out that sometimes I am rude. Sometimes when others are talking I’m not listening very well because I am distracted.

I worry that people will find out these things and will no longer think highly of me.

I would say my best friend is definitely my husband. Obviously, it is a good thing for him to be a best friend. Other than Jesus Christ, my relationship with my husband should be the next closest relationship that I have on this earth. It’s good for our marriage and good for our family. My husband sees me in my best and worst moments and still loves me in spite of it all. I think that is one of the reasons that he is my best friend. If I snap at him in a moment of frustration or bawl my head off because I’ve had a hard day, I know he’ll still be there and love me just the same.

Will a friend do that? That’s the heart of my personal struggle.

Lately God has been speaking to me about my problem with connecting with people. I have a lot of surface friendships but I am very weary of opening myself up to something deeper.

Eccelsiastes 4:9-10

“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”

To me, this is one of the reasons we are not supposed to live life alone. We CAN do things alone, but that doesn’t mean that is the best way to do it. I mean, having two arms DOES make most tasks more manageable. There are so many things in life that we can’t physically do alone.

When I read the first part of Ecclesiastes 4:10, it says that if either fall down the other can help him up. How many times do we “fall down” in our Christian walk? Every day! Every day I make mistakes, I sin. WE are sinners, and so we are going to “fall down” at some point. Having a friend, doesn’t just keep us accountable, but it also reminds us that we are not alone when we do fall. A close friend can be there to help support you in Christian Fellowship.

The second section of verse 10 says, “But pity anyone who falls and has no one to ehlp them up.”

Why should we pity them? Because, unfortunately, they have chosen to not surround themselves with people who would help. This is where I am.

God has been working on me that I need to be in closer fellowship with other women. As women, we need to be better about creating & working on close friendships.


So what does that mean? Am i going to pick up the phone tomorrow and suddenly have a new best friend? No, but there are some things that God has placed upon my heart to focus on. God wants me to work on making some of my “surface” friendships, true friendships.

First, God is calling me to step out in faith.

Yes, I am scared to open myself up to others, but my fear is not an excuse to disobey what God has called me to do. My emotions cannot determine whether or not I follow through. I have to trust that He is guiding me toward women who will care about me in spite of my faults.

Now, just because I step out in faith & obey what God has asked me to do does not mean that He has promised it will be smooth sailing. Relationships require people. People have baggage. Baggage causes problems. Even though there may be some bumps, I need to continue following God in the direction that He wants me to go.

Secondly, God has opened my eyes to the receiving end of friendship.

Friendships require us to open up and share our struggles with one another, but when a friend is opening up and sharing we must remember to listen without judgment.

One of the reasons that I struggle with connecting is because I worry about what others are going to think of me. What do we see on tv and social media? Cat fights & gossip. We see women tearing each other down & being applauded for their actions. Why are many of us weary of opening ourselves up to other women? This is why.

Matthew 7:3

“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?”

If we want close relationships we have to take it upon ourselves to stop silently (or for some, publicly) judging each other. Opening ourselves up is only the first step. We then have to listen & support each other without judgment or condemnation.


I am going to be working on developing closer Christian friendships, and I challenge you to do the same. I actually have someone that God has brought into my life hat I am going to call this week to get together and have lunch. I’m nervous, but excited to see what God has for this new friendship.

If you don’t have any issues with developing genuine, close Christian friendships with other women, look around you. Is there somewhat in your social circle that doesn’t seem to make connections easily? Ask God to show you someone that He wants you to connect & fellowship with.

I would love to hear what God is saying to you. Please let me know in the comments or follow me on facebook or twitter and let me know!

This was posted in the Grace & Truth Linkup & the Faith & Fellowship Blog Hop

Five Minute Friday: Why I NEED to “Gather”

So this is my first time joining up with the #fmfparty group! YAY! I’m excited!

FMF means “Five Minute Friday”. On Fridays many bloggers take the opportunity to write for five minutes on 1 specified topic. I first heard about it a few weeks ago and this week I’ve decided to join up! Check out Kate Motaung’s over at her blog “Heading Home” for more info about the #fmfparty.

This week’s word to write about is “Gather”

So I was thinking about why we gather.

This weekend I am gathering with several Children & Youth Church Workers to learn how to create better ministries. Sunday I will gather with other believers in Jesus Christ to worship God & learn more about Him. Next week my family will gather to celebrate my daughter’s 7th birthday!

We gather together in times of joy & in times of deep sorrow. Sometimes we just gather together so we can talk or have a good time. We NEED to gather together. I know as a wife & a mom it really helps me when I can get together with other women to share & talk about what’s going on in our lives. I have a friend that I don’t get to have lots of quality conversation time with because we’re  both so busy. Let me tell you though, when we DO get together & talk we can talk for hours! I always come away from our conversation feeling so much better because I know I’m not the only one that struggles with balancing all of the areas of my life.

Hebrews 10:25 says

“And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near.”

So in God’s word He’s even telling us to gather! We need friend & family time. We need to share with & encourage one another. I think that’s one of the reasons why the #FMFparty each week is such a great opportunity! We can virtually “gather” together to talk on one topic. We can share & encourage.

I definitely need it!

Ok, my five minutes are up. Thanks so much for “gathering” with me this week!

I’m also linking up with www.christianmommyblogger.com today! If you’re a mom that blogs check it out!

I would love to hear from you! Let me know in the comments below what you do to get in some good Friend or Family time. I would love some new ideas to use myself!

Surprise! Free Printable!

So I’ve been stuck at home the past couple of days due to the snow storm that came through Friday Night & all day Saturday. Crazy! I was SO NOT expecting that!

I’ve organized the towel closet, published my 2nd post in the Ruth Study Series (Check out “Loss”), had a dance party with my girls in the kitchen, and done UMPTEEN loads of laundry. I decided I needed to get a little creative this afternoon. So…

Since the weather has snow bounded me… You get something FREE!

That’s right! I created an 8×10 printable from a verse I used in my latest post on Ruth and I’m making it available for you!

Psalm 9  8by10 printable

I love Psalm 9:9! Feel free to Pin, Save, Share, & Print! It’s created to fit in an 8×10 frame so enjoy!

Do you have a favorite verse that you would like to see as a free printable on Made To Bloom? Comment below & let me know! I love this kind of stuff!