First Grade Proposal

The following is a real conversation between myself & my Daughter

 

J: “Mom, you know Daniel that’s in my class?”

Me: “Yes, what about him?”

J: “Today at lunch he asked me to be his girlfriend and he gave me a ring.”


 

We were driving home from dance class the other day when my 7 year old daughter dropped this bombshell on me.

 

Inner me: WHAT?! No! Absolutely not! You are in first grade. No boyfriends… EVER!

Me: “Oh he did? What did you tell him?” (As I pushed the instant FREAK OUT mode down a little bit)

J: “Well, I told him I would have to ask my mom.”

Inner me: Thank You Lord! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Me: “Well that was a very smart thing to say. What do you think I am going to say?”

J: “Ummm… probably no.”

Inner Me: “You bet I’m going to say no…”

Me: “Yup. You’re right. Why do you think Daddy & I will say that?”

J: “Ummm… because I’m not old enough.”

Me: “Yup. What do you think about it?”

Inner Me: “Please agree! Please remember the things we’ve talked about even if it was only in a brief conversation!”

J: “Yeah, I don’t think I’m old enough. Maybe when I’m like 16.”

Inner me: Dancing a celebratory victory dance

Me: “Do you know why you’re probably not old enough?”

J: Shrugs

Me: “Well, why do you think people have boyfriends?”

J: Shrugs

Inner Me: “Lord PLEASE help me out with this one. Seriously, I could bungle this without your help!”

Me: “Well, when you like a boy as more than just a friend you may want a boyfriend. Like if you’re thinking about him a lot and you want to hold hands and things. But really God made the boyfriend/girlfriend/dating thing to help us figure out who we are supposed to marry. Do you think you’ll be ready to get married in the next 5 years?”

J: Laughs “No! I’ll only be in 6th grade!”

Me: “You’re right. You won’t be ready to think about getting married anytime soon. Boyfriends are a pretty serious thing. I think it would be best if we waited a while until you think about having a boyfriend. You should probably just tell Daniel that you’re not old enough to have a boyfriend but that you two can just be friends. How does that sound?”

J: “Yeah. That’s what I’m going to do.”


 

I have to tell you that during this short conversation I felt like I should smile, cry, stop the car, laugh, & call my husband all at the same time. I mean REALLY? She’s 7.

Jimmy and I haven’t really sat down and planned out our specific rules about boyfriends and dating yet. (Did I mention she’s only 7…) We’ve been more concerned with spelling lists & making sure we remember to get snacks for the class on our assigned snack day. Boyfriends? Rings? Ha! That seemed laughable. Until now.

The more I’ve thought about it over the past week the more I’ve realized how unprepared I was for that conversation. I know that as parents we agree that there will be no boyfriends until our girls are older, but what age? What about dates? Group dates? Movie dates?

If I created rules going off of my personal dating experiences in High School I would lock them in their rooms until they were 18 and tell them stories about boys only wanting one thing. (Ok, we WILL be having those talks… Jimmy says it’s mandatory)

My 7 year old is a lot more like Jimmy than me though. Their personalities are so alike and Jimmy didn’t date. I was his first real girlfriend and we started dating our freshman year of college. (Now this is not counting the girl from church that was his girlfriend for like 2 weeks and they only saw each other at church… He says that doesn’t count)

After some discussion Jimmy and I have decided to wait to set specific rules. We are just going to continue having clear, biblically intentional conversations about boyfriends & dating and we’ll take each event as they come. In the mean time I’ll be reading, praying & asking God to prepare me for what lies ahead.

I just never thought I’d be dealing with boyfriends and rings in first grade. Wow! I guess God’s just trying to keep me on my toes!


 

10 minutes later I found myself thinking about that ring.

Me: “Hey, what did you do with that ring?”

J: “Oh! At recess the girl that sits next to me saw it and said that it looked just like the one that she brought to school and put in her box on her desk but it disappeared. So I gave it to her. We think Daniel took it from her box.”

Inner Me: “Little hoodlum…”

Me: Laughs “Well it sounds like it all turned out ok then.”

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Confession of a Busy Mom

Well I’ve let it happen to myself again. There has been so much going on in the past month! Its the end of the school year and we’ve just been GOING, GOING, GOING… DOING, DOING, DOING… We’re so Busy. I’ve gotten to a point where I think I need to re-evaluate everything we are “doing”. What are we “busy” with? Does God call us to these things? Is it time to let go of some things? I have always struggled with being busy. In High School I played tennis, was on the cheer squad, was in the High School Musical each year, sang in the choir, was involved in church, (of course there was ALWAYS a boyfriend to spend time with) and somehow I managed to be an average student at a College Prep School. None of these things were “bad”, but I think I was so busy that I didn’t give the necessary attention to the things that should have been priorities. Sometimes I wish I could go back and shake my teen self and tell her to focus on what really matters!

  • “Cheerleading is great but don’t make it a priority because you’re going to end up hurting yourself so many times that you can’t even Cheer on the College level.”
  • “Don’t worry about that silly boy because he’s just going to break your heart in a few months after he meets another girl while he’s away for a few weeks over the summer.”

Or maybe I should look in the mirror right now and say it to my adult self…

  • “Don’t join another committee that will take up more of your time. Your daughters are starved for your attention.”
  • “Think and pray more before you agree to go as a chaperone on that next Youth trip. Your husband is tired and you need to spend some one on one time together. He needs you.”
  • “It’s time to step away from that commitment. Your season there is over. It’s time to open yourself up to whatever God is calling you to next.”

It’s tough stuff to think about, let alone pray about. “God, show me what you want me to be doing… and what you DON’T want me to be doing.”, because the thing is I need to follow through & obey. Yikes! I may actually have to STOP doing something! I may have to say “No”! I might have to disappoint someone because God is calling me to something else. So for now, I will pray for strength in this season of busyness. I will pray for God’s discernment, that He will show me what He wants me to be doing. I will pray that He will guide me as I weed out those things that I am not supposed to be spending my time on. I will ask Him to set my priorities straight.

Psalm 25:4-5 “Show me the right path, O Lord;     point out the road for me to follow.  Lead me by your truth and teach me,     for you are the God who saves me.     All day long I put my hope in you.”

Have you ever found yourself in a season of busyness like me? Has God called you to let go of some activities? I would love to hear what God has done & is doing in your life! Until Next Time, signature.fw

I shared this on the Grace & Truth Linkup, Christian Mommy Blogger, Faith & Fellowship Blog HopFaith Filled Fridays. If you’re a Faith Blogger check them out!